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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  March 28, 2012 1:00am-1:30am PDT

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>> it is. no because i know there's two dudes out there somewhere right now with little [bleep] and sickle cell. >> yeah. >> good night. >> march 27, 2012 from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. captioning sponsored by comedy central ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. we have a very nice show for you tonight. my guest is maria goodavage, her new about dogs in the militarism we'll get into the controversial don't ask, don't smell. [ laughter ]
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did i mention we're back from vacation? last night around 10:00 put the kids to bed and i'm watching, as i always do at this time the lawrence o'donnell show because that's the premises of the bit we're about to do. anyhoo mr. o'don't is supposed to interview craig sonner the lawyer at the center of george zimmerman case. >> george sonner the courageous defender of george zimmerman walked out of studio. there is his chair in orlando. >> not the most enthralling television but it's miss neeb. i didn't think dressing a grizzly bear in human clothes of a good idea but you know they made that work. [ laughter ] panda, what no? [ laughter ] anyway have it it.
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who is page you, mr. lawyer? who hired you? when exactly did they hire you? does george zimmerman have a job? does he have any property? did you represent him when he was arrested for assault on a police officer? do you have the medical records that you can show us? >> he's grilling the chair! [ laughter ] no, the chair doesn't have medical records to show you. it's a chair. you should be yelling at the filing cabinet. note to self, do not go to ikea with lawrence o'donnell. [ laughter ] do you call yourself a faraloggin you are no more a garfung -- i live in new york city i see a lot of people yelling at chairs. none of them have tv shows. [ laughter ] after watching this p for like ten minutes i started feeling badly for the chair. tonight we have the chair's lawyer who was with him during
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the interview. we have fan with us. hello fan. thank you for joining us. i know you are busy this time of year in florida flm it's in between spring and summer, people don't want to use their air conditioning. all right. even i can't sustain this bit. [ laughter ] you know, the other way we were going to go this with because we were so excited when we saw him yelling at the chair? we came up with two ideas for the bit. the other premise was simply zimmerman's lawyer there was the whole tiny he is just tien. did you represent him then. >> i'm right here. give me a chance to talk you pompous son of a (bleep). i'm out of here. >> jon: not just that was ignored but after he bailed on the interview it took him 20 minutes to walk across the chair. i'm sorry. sometimes it's fun to be stupid.
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[ laughter ] meanwhile, the republican presidential baton death march continues with recent primary winner rick santorum stepping up his attack on one -- >> pick any other republican in the country, he is the worst republican in the country to put up against barack obama. >> jon: the worst? come on! i can think of plenty of worst. there's that mayor that responded to allegations his police force was a tacking the latinos like that. >> what are you do doing for the latino community today? >> i might have tack grows when i go home. i'm not sure yet. >> jon: what you think of mitt romney he's a step up from the taco mayor. it was pretty clear it was primarily meant in romney's record on health care.
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it wasn't the most artful phrasing but you would you haveo go out of the way to misrepresent it. let's do that. >> you said mitt romney was the wore the republican in the country. >> what speech did you listen to? >> right here. >> stop lying. i said he was the worst republican to run on the issue of obamacare and that's what i was talking about. >> jon: arrrhg. i'm angry. agggrrr. i kind of like guy with a little fire in his belly. probably not going to push tight far, right, rick? >> to run against the barack obama on the issue of health care. i've been saying it in every speech quit distorting my words. if i see it, it's (bleep). >> jon: i did not see that coming. rick santorum a conservative swearing at a reporter.
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i think this is how he should talk from now on. i believe life begins at (bleep) conception. you got a problem with that (bleep). boom! [ laughter ] arrrrggghh,. i just wanted to see the show. [ laughter ] tickets were free but i didn't want to lose an eye. [ laughter ] i think the real santorum might be more bad ass than we realize. he looks all milquetoasty in the sweater vests but i think they started out as sweaters and he rips the arms off! [ laughter ] i can understand why he is upset. it's a gotcha question. the press can get gotchay. watch this exchange between wolf blitzer and mitt romney. >> my dad getting r and r this
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weekend at the movies today with me and my kids. you went to see the hunger games. how did you like that? >> jon: wow, that's the kind of question you ask a chair. seriously easy question though, right. it's romney. you never know if he's go to go i loved it, hated. go thumbs up and down. >> it was nice to see a flick first time in a long time. >> pg-13, is it a little too violent for young kids? >> this whole thing was a setup to nail romney on the hot button issue of whether or not he is a responsible grandpa. mr. romney your mug says world's greatest grandpa the but the facts say otherwise. dude, it was a pg-13 movie not a rave. >> i think it's disturbing for young kids. the pg-13 is an indication of
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the seriousness of the film but i'm over 13 now. >> jon: boom. it was funny. nicely done. you made a joke and prevented wolf blitzer from proving you are under 13 and ineligible for the president six hopefully that settles grandpa gate. >> i'm over 13 now. but you went with young kids, right? >> you feel bad that mormons can't curse because if anything deserves the santorum treatment. >> it's (bleep). >> it was those questions. i'm not sure why romney bothered leaving the house to see a post apop lippic nightmare. he could have stayed home and watched this commercial from san forum about obama. >> imagine this will small town if obama is reelected. small businesses are struggling and families are worried about their jobs and their futures. the wait to see a doctor is ever
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increasing. gas prices through the roof. [ laughter ] >> jon: (bleep). i would totally take mitt romney's grand kids to see that movie. apparently that commercial is meant to show the many ways in which a repeat obama win would be disastrous for our nation including millions of lost chuck taylors, stark layoffs in the creepy little girl sector, of course a huge spike in gas nozzle suicides. do it (bleep), nothing happens. pull the trigger. gas comes out. you smell like gas for a day. [ laughter ] you know the obama reelection post apocalyptic 2014 health scare depicted is interesting for many reasons but for one in particular despite being called owe ballaville the town in question does not afear have a
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single black person living in it. the population is 100% unhappy white people. rick santorum thinks if barack obama gets reelected all of obama as black people get raptured. you think the white folks would be happier for
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♪ we ran a mile before breakfast ♪ ♪ sure, i had a salad for lunch ♪ ♪ but a miller 64 at dinner? ♪ oh yes, 'cause i've worked off my paunch ♪ ♪ 'cause we live a life of balance ♪ ♪ and no one can say that we're wrong ♪ ♪ so here's to good miller, who cut out the filler ♪ ♪ and made a beer worthy of song ♪ ♪ to miller 64 ♪ to miller 64 ♪ to love, sweat and beers and well deserved cheers ♪ ♪ to miller 64 [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome back. food shopping!
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food shopping it's kind of a pain in the ass. did you know there's a way to make it much, much worse? samantha bee has more. >> the israeli-palestinian conflict has raged for decades with countless casualties on both sides. but perhaps there's one victim of this war that may be the most tragic of all, the park slope food coop in brooklyn, new york. >> a food fight at a legal co-op. >> the food ban is meant to punish israel. >> the battle lines in cooperative grocery store have been drawn. >> we would like to boycott israeli goods. we believe the food we sell, eat and buy should not come at the expense of palestinian human rights. >> so palestinians are to determine their own fate they are going to look directly to the park slope food co-op. >> not just this one but it has a role.
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>> another group has risen up to fight the removal of the these five israeli products from the shelves. >> we formed a group called more humous please and organized to owe pose the boycott. >> sorry what was the name of your group? >> more humous, please. >> it wasn't already take season in. >> we didn't find anyone. >> it's surprising they asked so nicely given what they are doing. >> the suggestion is to end israel as a jewish state. >> and they are doing you this through the medium of cous drrks ous? >> right. >> you can see the toll it's taken on the faces pushing the $1,000 strollers all over the region. >> someone called and said they would poison the bulk bins if it passed. >> co-op is not a place for politics. >> politics are a part of the
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co-op. they joined boycott the sanctions movement against south africa. >> everybody boycotted south after chasm israel is different. sounds like politics are bad for the co-ops when it's politics you don't agree with. >> before this there was peace. >> we are talking about a grocery store, right? >> that's right. >> okay. all right. to witness the struggle firsthand i traveled to this holy place home to so many different kinds of devoted npr listeners. mazar agreed to provide me with safe passage. i'm an american. i'm a journalist. we moved in and then danger. what is that strapped to her chest? it's just a baby. >> it's a real baby. >> yes, i think it's a real baby. >> it was becoming clear why this place is special well.
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all 16,000 members required to work three hours a month they created a new model in retail efficiency. >> i like to pay cash so i'm going to a register. >> this say check out register. >> you have to go to another register. >> we go to another regular store pay cash. >> do you they that other stores have figured out how to do this in one step. this say system we developed many, many years ago. >> of course. this is the holy land. you can't change something just because it's (bleep). and with your shopping done, you think you are free. >> if you are going to go boycott israel, i suggest you boycott china because they are in tibet. i advise you boycott syria because they are in lebanon. i believe the moroccans in south sahara. the only place in the world that hasn't been invaded yet is iceland. my argument is why --
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>> sure people talk about a two shelf solution but is it realistic? >> it wouldn't work. the boycott means we'll not participate in israel's economy. we're trying to stop the collective punishment of palestinians. >> israel is punishing all palestinians for the actions of a few? >> yes. >> so your response is to punish the chickpea farmers because of the actions of a few israelis. >> it's not an equal conflict. >> i'm a humble israeli chick pea farmer how may i help you? >> appreciate your -- you may help us but pressuring your government to end the military occupation of palestinians. >> so are you going to buy my chick peas or -- >> not -- >> what the (bleep) does this have to do with me? the co-op meets tonight to decide the fate of boycott but
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for some this war would never end. >> violate new york state law that says you can't discriminate. if you can't discriminate then how do you
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[cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome back. a former newspaper reporter and now the news editor for doingster.com her new book is called "soldier dogs" please welcome to the program maria goodavage. nice to sigh. please sit. did i pronounce that right? >> that was good. >> jon: is that right? >> close enough. >> jon: nice to see you. thank you for joining us.
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soldier dog -- first of all, kind of an adorable picture. but you really don't actually hear -- dogs have quite an important role on the frontlines of the fight. >> they have a lot of roles actually. the biggest one right now in afghanistan is going out in front of the troops and sniffing out ieds and they lead the way. they save lives every day because their noses are so amazing. so much better than anything else there. >> each one has a handler. each one has an assigned individual that trains them or just cares for them? >> they don't train them. they are trained at lackland air force base, most of them, they go through months of training once they get to the home base they meet the handler. they hang out for months with the handler and eventually deploy together. they go through seven months together and they come back together. it's a big misunderstanding.
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people think they are left there. they come back. they are -- >> jon: they come back with the handler. that's a training exercise, yes? >> that say training exercise and that's military working dog in yuma, arrests, which they call afghanistan u.s.a. you have to carry your dog. if your dog is injured and you have to go over a wall and your dog can't climb a wall. it's good to have a smaller dog than tina. >> they have really small dogs. show the ones in the submarines. there you go. this is lars. >> jon: settle down. he's working. don't a, www him. [ laughter ] >> he has a napoleon complex. >> jon: i don't blame him. [ laughter ] been there. [ laughter ] >> yeah, he does a really good job. ace bomb sniffer. he was supposed to be a drug sniffer and got into the wrong program at dog school. he sniffs out bombs and
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submarines. >> jon: does that happen at a lot of dog schools? wait, i was a helper monkey now i'm here in a mine -- i don't know what is going on. i notice a lot of shepherds. >> and the big one told is the belgian malomar. you heard of dog in the bin laden raid. >> jon: you thought you were going to say you've heard of belgium. yeah, i heard of it. >> that was the dog in that raid. we don't know exactly what he did. >> jon: i hope he urinated all over the place. [ laughter ] just to add a little insult to injury. [ laughter ] these dogs, how do they -- train them to be able to withstand -- these conditions in afghanistan are absolutely so difficult for even humans to understand. they get ptsd? how does a dog not? mine get it from the is vacuum
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cleaner. how do they get the dogs to not respond to that? or do they get issues? >> they try to buy resilient dogs and it doesn't always happen. you don't know what dog is getting ptsd. they recognized it's real until dogs. they are doing research, drug therapy, behavioral therapy but a quarter of dogs diagnosed will never go out again and they are adopted. i met one at the kennel. all the dogs were barking and twirling and this dog, a little brown lab was curled up in a ball stearg out into space. i said what is wrong with this dog? he they said he didn't make it out of afghanistan. he is in texas now with a beautiful couple and they are doing everything they can to help him overcome that. >> jon: when you said that, i really hope pups just did
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this -- buck just did this -- they are heroic but heartbreaking stories because the relationships between the handler and their dogs. it really is a bond that is almost more intense than between troop mates. >> it's true. and the handler-dog bond goes so deep. a lot of handlers say i'm closer to my dog than my spouse. they are together 24/7. their lives dependen ought dogs. >> jon: so rex before we go. there you go. >> rex and haze handler. >> jon: it's a tough story. they started out not getting along. rex wouldn't listen to anyone. at the end they bonded so deeply and it was -- i talked to the handler. >> jon: and they never get over it. >> she's still not over it. >> jon: it's an incredible story.
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these are doggles they wear. you should wear this when you read the book because they'll fill up with saline. it's an emotional book. wonderful stories to tell. it's on the bookshelves now. maria goodavage thank y s s
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[cheers and applause] >> joe: that's our show. here it is your moment of zen. >> i think we have video of pope in mexico earlier, don't we? >> yes, where